Deep Trouble
by Taril
Summary: Gintoki and Katsura get into some deep trouble.


**Disclaimer:** Gintama is owned by Sorachi Hideaki.

Little Gintoki and Zura are too cute. Haha.

Gintama childhood fics are too fun.

**EDIT June 10, 2010:** Fixed and edited stuff. Because FF's edit system and I seriously have a lot of mutual hate for each other.

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"Hey, you guys, can you help me for a bit? I lost something near here and I can't find it…"

* * *

**Being in the shower too long will make your skin all wrinkled**

* * *

"Owwwwww… This is probably the dumbest thing I've ever done… Ugh, I'm all wet now… Tch, what was that brat thinking…?"

A silver-haired boy sat up in knee-deep water.

"Man… this is bad… All our books are wet… Sensei's going to kill us… We're so going to get a beating… That's if we can get out of this in the first place… This is all your fault, you know, Zura."

"…Zura…?" He looked around. A figure sat up abruptly in front of him.

Gintoki's face paled to an unhealthy grayish colour.

"!"

"I-i-i-it's Okiku! D-d-d-d-don't kill me! I s-still need to live out my life as a lazy sugar-loving guy who doesn't pay rent!"

"…It's not Okiku... it's Katsura… Who are you calling Okiku, Gintoki? I lost my hair tie and my hair got wet, that's all. Don't go around screaming your head off."

Gintoki returned his sword to his sash and stood up, "It's not my fault you looked like that. It's dark down here, you hair's loose, you're pale, and you have this huge bruise on your cheek."

"I have this bruise because my face landed on your sword hilt. My face is pale because I was sick yesterday. And it's your fault for standing so close to a well. What would we have done if the well was full?"

"We could always count plates."

"No."

"Fine."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Zura… how are we going to get out?"

Katsura wrung the water out of his hair, took off his haori and attempted to do the same to it. "It's not Zura, it's Katsura. How would I know? You shouldn't have stood so close to the well, Gintoki."

"And you shouldn't have tried to help that kid, Zura."

"It is the duty of a samurai to help those in need, Gintoki. How was I supposed to know he was going to shove us in?"

"It was written all over his face, stupid… And he wasn't trying to shove us in; he was trying to shove you in. You pulled me in with you. Some stupid prank that was… Oi oi, it's easier if you just don't wear your hakama or haori, Zura. They're all wet anyway. I'm so glad I don't wear a haori and hakama. They're so bothersome."

"…Gintoki. This well is too deep. Even an adult wouldn't have been able to get out. How are we going to get out?"

"Hmm… I want to try something. Stand by the wall, Zura."

"It's not Zura, it's- Gintoki, what are you- let go- OW OW OWWW, GET OFF ME, IDIOT! YOU'RE GOING TO RIP MY HAIR OUT! DON'T STEP ON MY HEAD! OWWWWW!"

"You should just cut it off, Zura. It usually gets in the way anyways. And stay still! See, we're getting closer to the top!"

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE STANDING ON ME, MORON! YOU'RE HEAVIER THAN ME, SO IT SHOULD BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND! GET OFF ME NOW!"

"Oh come on, Zura. My arms are probably longer than yours, and I have a sword, so it would be easier to- uwaa!"

Gintoki flailed his arms in vain as he and Katsura wobbled dangerously. In an attempt to not fall, Gintoki stabbed his sword into the wall. Temporarily stabilized, the two boys sighed in relief.

"That was close…"

"Yes, it was…"

Katsura stared at the dirt piling at his feet, "Gintoki… do wells have feelings…?"

"What kind of stupid question is that, Zura? I think you… Perhaps wells do have feelings, Zura… This is bad, isn't it…?"

"Yes, it is…"

"GYAAAAH!" The wall crumbled and sent the two boys tumbling into the cold water. Gintoki spat out a mouthful of well water and stared at the mountain of rubble in front of him, his sword sticking out from the pile.

"Gintoki… Next time you try something, please think it through. It will save others great amounts of stress and pain." Katsura sat up, "Now we're all wet again, and muddy too." He rubbed his head, "Because of you, my head hurts… Gintoki, why are you making that expression? Gintoki?"

"Zura… we're going to die, aren't we? I don't want to die in this place. I want to go home, Zura. I'm sure that thing behind you really wanted to go home too, but it couldn't, because it fell into this well and couldn't get out, na, Zura."

Katsura glanced behind him at the object Gintoki was pointing at. "It's not Zura, it's… Why… Good afternoon… It's a good d-day today, isn't it, G-Gintoki…?"

""Yes, it's a g-good day, Zura…"

"…"

"…"

"UWAAAAAAA, G-G-G-G-GET ME OUT OF H-H-H-HERE! I D-D-DON'T WANT TO DIE HERE! UWAAA, GINTOKI, STOP SCREAMING AND DO SOMETHING!"

"Y-Y-Y-Y-YOU'RE THE O-ONE SCREAMING, ZURA! OI, DON'T CLIMB ON ME! OI, ZURA, DON'T STEP ON MY HEAD! UWAAAAAAA, IT'S GRINNING AT YOU, ZURA, IT'S GRINNING AT YOU!"

"LIAR, YOU STARTED THIS WHOLE THING! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO STICKING YOUR SWORD INTO THE STUPID WALL? IT'S COMING THIS WAY, ISN'T IT? IT WANTS YOUR LIFE, DOESN'T IT? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, GINTOKI?"

"THE ONLY LIFE IT WANTS IS YOURS, ZURA! DEAD PEOPLE DON'T WANT NATURAL PERMS, THEY WANT LONG STRAIGHT HAIR!"

"WHAT KIND OF TWISTED LOGIC IS THAT? ALWAYS BLAMING THINGS ON YOUR HAIR!"

Gintoki's forehead slammed into the wall as Katsura jumped up.

"OWWWW! ZURA, YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE, DIDN'T YOU? I KNOW YOU DID! ZURA?"

The naturally permed boy stared in shock as his friend hung onto a rock above him. His shock quickly turned into horror.

"OI, ZURA! DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME IN HERE WITH THAT THING! DON'T YOU DARE!"

"Don't worry, Gintoki! I will surely find someone who will come help you! A samurai should sacrifice himself and get help for his friend, even if it means leaving his friend with a monster!"

"YOU'RE TWISTING IT, BASTARD! YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH THE BUSHIDO BUT YOU'LL ABANDON IT AS SOON AS YOU SEE A CHANCE TO SAVE YOURSELF!"

"Do I look like I care? I just want to get out of this stupid well! Farewell, Gintoki! This will be the last time we ever see each other! I'll miss you! I'll make sure to honour your dear sacrifice every day!"

"YOU BASTARD! YOU'RE CONTRADICTING YOURSELF! GET DOWN HERE AND I'LL GIVE YOU THE BEATING YOU DESERVE!"

Gintoki dragged Katsura down and wrapped his arms around Katsura's neck. Katsura clawed at Gintoki's arms.

"K…k… Let go of me, Gintoki! You asshole, let me go this instant!"

"Hell no! You deserve this, Zura! You so deserve this! I'm going to beat the contradictions and the vulgarity out of you!"

"What are you talking about? You're more vulgar than I am! Did I mention you're violent? Young children should not be violent or vulgar!"

"That goes for you too, who the hell slams their friend's head into a wall?"

"Shut up, you vulgar child! Let go of me, let go! I still have a nation to protect!"

"Vulgar and violent children who run away from danger should not be allowed to protect their nation! And you're not old enough! Ow, stop that!"

"That goes for you too! Lazy people can't protect anything! Young, violent, vulgar children should not be allowed to carry sharp objects! Let go of me, Gintoki, I can't breathe!"

"How come you're still talking if you can't breathe?"

"That's because I need to bash some sense into that thick head of yours! Why is your head so paa?"

"Shut up! It's not my fault I was born with a natural perm! And my head did not go paa!"

"If it didn't go paa, why is your hair like that?"

"Shut up!"

The two friends continued in this fashion until the small circle of sky visible to them turned gray with rainclouds, casting shadows on the long forgotten pile of animal bones lying near the rubble.

"Na… Zura… it's getting dark…"

"If there were no rainclouds, the sky would be the same colour as your forehead, Gintoki."

"That's because you shoved my head into the wall and made it bleed, bastard."

"It's not like you're the one getting strangled. I think you sprained my neck, asshole. See, I'm getting a bruise."

"What do we do, Zura? It's probably nighttime… We probably missed dinner… And no one's looking for us…"

"No, they're probably looking for us… They just don't know we're sitting in a dank, old well, with water up to our stomachs and soaked to our skin, and some dead animal's skeleton for company."

"Don't bring that up ever again. You'll probably get nightmares from that."

"I think you meant that you're the one who'll get nightmares from that."

"Really? Then why are you shivering?"

"Because I'm cold. Your teeth are positively chattering."

Gintoki clamped his teeth together and ground out, "They're not. I swear your face is turning the colour of paper."

Katsura shivered and hugged his knees closer to his chest. Gintoki sighed and grabbed his wrist, "Zura, you're freezing. Your face is about the colour of my hair right now. Your lips are nearing purple. I can also see the veins under your skin."

"Y-you're not better off than me, Gintoki…Your hand's clammy, and your skin looks gray. We've been in the water for too long…"

Gintoki rubbed his hands together as Katsura coughed.

"I'm probably better off than you… Considering I always eat more than you do… And my skin is gray not because I'm cold, but because I haven't had any sugar ever since we got let off from school. I want to go home…"

Katsura shuddered and buried his head into his arms and muttered under his breath.

"What was that, Zura?"

"Water, water everywhere… And none to drink… Stupid bird… Stupid boards shrinking under the bloody sun… Stupid water snakes…"

His companion shook him gently, "Zura? Zura, don't tell me you're sick…"

The boy shrank into a smaller ball, "Shut up… It's not Zura… It's Katsura… Anyone can get sick after spending so much time in sitting in water… The water's probably old and dirty… Gintoki… I feel like I'm on a ship… Alone, alone, all alone, with no water… and with the damned sun burning me… Perhaps a skeleton ship will sail by and take me with it… I never did want to be a sailor…"

Gintoki's eyebrows drew down into a deep frown and he laughed nervously, "Oi, don't you get a fever and hallucinate on me. Zura. Zura? Oi, Zura, stay awake."

A hand swatted at Gintoki's arm, "Go away… And it's called hypothermia… or maybe pneumonia… You're right… Studying is stupid… I want some soba… Is there any soba, Gintoki? But I'm not allowed to eat soba… because it's only for poor people, and my family wants to keep a good image… But I don't really care anymore… I want some soba… Samurai should only eat simple things, or they'll get fat and lazy…"

Gintoki's red eyes widened in terror, "Oi, Zura, Zura! Don't talk about random stuff like that! Oi, if you fall asleep right here right now, I swear I'm going to shave your hair off and braid a rope out of it to get us out of here! I swear!"

Katsura raised his head and glared at Gintoki, "Do that, and I'll make sure you'll live to regret it."

Gintoki shivered slightly and clutched his sword closer to his chest, "I see you're feeling better, Zura. You know, we should probably stand up… Shit… it's raining… Zura… Zura, stand up. Sitting in water's not helping us. Get up. Zura, stand up now or I'll yank you up by your hair. And there's a lot of hair on that head of yours for me to yank."

"I didn't know you wanted to sit with that skeleton so much, Gintoki. My legs don't feel like moving. Help me up." Gintoki grunted and draped his friend's arm around his shoulder, "You really are freezing," and stood up with his sword supporting him. "Damn, my skin's all itchy now and I'm stiff…hm? Zura, do you hear anything?"

"All I hear is your voice and a lot of buzzing… I have a cramp from sitting so long…"

"Having a cramp is better than sitting in water the whole time. I think someone's coming… Oi! OII!"

Katsura pushed back his hair, "Maybe you're hearing things, Gintoki."

"Don't think so, Zura," Gintoki stared at the rubble, "Hey, lean against the wall for a bit, alright? I've got an idea."

"I hope it doesn't involve standing on each other and being stupid."

Instead of answering, he picked up a large rock and threw it onto the top of the pile of rubble.

Katsura sighed, "Gintoki, if you do that, it's going to take forever for you to make it high enough for us to get out. And some of the rocks are too heavy for you to lift." He pushed himself away from the wall and bent down to help his friend.

They heaved a particularly large rock onto the top of the pile. Gintoki huffed, "At least we're trying something. And is it just me, Zura, or is my forehead burning up?"

"I think your forehead's infected… It scraped the wall, right? Then it's probably infected."

"Great, so now not only am I freezing, itchy, hungry, cramped, and tired, I also have an infected head wound. And you have a fever, or hypothermia, or pneumonia, or something."

Katsura closed his eyes and fell forward, "Sounds about right…"

"Oi, Zura, stay up. Oi oi, Zura? Zura! DAMMIT, ZURA, DON'T DOTHAT! I'LL EVEN CALL YOU KATSURA OR KOTAROU, JUST DON'T DO THAT! OI, YOU'RE GOING TO DROWN LIKE THAT! DON'T DIE ON ME!"

"Gintoki…? Zura…?"

Gintoki's head shot up and stopped shaking his unconscious friend. His eyes widened in shock.

Y-you… you're… Takasugi?"

"Takasugi-kun found you two in the well, so he came and told me about it. We were very worried about you two, Sakata-kun with an infection and Katsura-kun ill. I was also very worried. It was a good thing we got you two out just in time. Any longer and you two could've been in a really bad situation."

Hands rested gently on a silver head and a dark head, "And so, in the future, I hope you two will be more careful, and less rash. Helping people is a good thing, but there are those who wish to cause harm. I hope you two have learned from this."

"Yes, sensei. We're very sorry, sensei."

"You two are both good children, no matter how mischievous you can get. Remember what the doctor said, if you get dizzy or tired, take a rest, don't push it."

"Yes, sensei."

"…Remember what I said to you in that well, Zura?"

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura. You told me you would stop calling me Zura if I didn't die."

"I never said that. I meant the part where I told you I was going to cut your hair off if you fell asleep."

"Liar. I did not fall asleep, Gintoki, I passed out from the fever."

"That's kind of the same thing, isn't it?"

"No it isn't. Do you remember what I said in response to your threat, Gintoki?"

"What?"

"If you cut off my hair, I will make sure you regret it for the rest of your life."

"Really? Let's try it."

"Are you really that desperate to meet that pile of bones again, Gintoki?"

"Don't try anything rash, Zura. We're banned from going anywhere near wells, remember?"

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura. I was sure you missed that pile of bones dearly when we were recovering."

"You were delirious. You kept muttering about ghosts and demons and stuff."

"…Takasugi told me there's a test tomorrow. I hope you'll study."

"Oi, don't go changing the subject so bluntly."

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**References:**  
_Paragraphs 7, 8, 11_– reference to the Japanese folk tale "Banchou Sarayashiki," which was the basis for the movie "The Ring."  
_Paragraphs 64, 65, 66_ – reference to Gintama episode 24. "Paa" can mean someone's head is "blown up" (I just felt like recycling stuff…).  
_Paragraphs 86, 87, 88 _– reference to the English poem "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

**AN: **I think they went a little OOC right after Zura got sick. Or maybe they were OOC from the beginning .  
The Japanese folk tale reference used to be a Ring reference… I suddenly thought of it when I was imagining little Zura with his hair down…Haha XD I didn't watch it though. And I'm very glad that I didn't.  
I wonder if Gintoki and Zura swear too much… . And if they're too violent… But seeing how it's (little) Gintoki and Zura… it's probably ok XD  
I shouldn't have them talk so much… but Gintama has a lot of talking, so…  
They don't talk like children! Arghhhh.  
Does the story progress too fast…? I kind of think it does…

Maybe I should write something about them getting kidnapped?


End file.
